All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Randomize
