blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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