I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
