Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize