I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize