Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Your penis caused this!
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