Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
