i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
