I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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