He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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