from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
