thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize