At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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