I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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