I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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