Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
