Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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