BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
