you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
