Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
