I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
