Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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