once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
