the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
