Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
