ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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