She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
