"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize