I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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