Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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