I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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