Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
