Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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