I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
