just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
