In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
