The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize