her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to make a zoo with you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My ass is underappreciated
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
