Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
