she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
