where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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