They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
