omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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