Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
