She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
