After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my shit smells like andre
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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