Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Everyone says I win the strip club
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
