I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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