Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am spending my child support on dildos
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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