Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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