i don't like sucking hair
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
