A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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