what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
