So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
