when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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