the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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