hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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