I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
