I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
