With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
