I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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