he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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