i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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