Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
