You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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